This guy is sitting in a bardrunk, he asks the bartender where's the
 bathroom at?   The bartender said, go downthe hall & make a right.
Well, all of a sudden, everybody at the bar hearsthis loud scream and
wonders what is going on in thebathroom.   A few minutes go by again
and everybody at the bar  hears another loudscream that came out of
the bathroom again.
This time the bartender goes into the bathroom toinvestigate what the
 drunk is screaming about. Through the door he asks the drunk, "What's
all the screaming about in here? You are scaring all my customers
away."

The drunk said, "I'm sitting on the toiletand  every time I go to flush 

 it, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my balls."  With
 that, the bartender opens up the door and looks inand says, "No
wonder,
 you're sitting on my mop bucket!!"
 

Joke 5